Offensive workplace greetings

What is with these grocery store clerks and baristas in coffee shops lately?  Instead of being trained to give a polite greeting like “Good morning” or “Good afternoon” they are saying, “What are you up to this afternoon?” or “What plans do you have for this evening?”

Sorry, but I don’t think it is anybody’s damn business what I am up to this afternoon or what I am up to this evening. 

To the first question I am tempted to respond “I am planning to rob the bank on the corner, but don’t tell anyone.” Or “After I visit the mortuary I’m going to the monument people to pick out a headstone” or “I’m having gall bladder surgery so hurry up with the latte.”

Also when I say thank you, servers or store clerks say “No problem.” And I want to scream, “I never said it was a problem!  How about just saying, you’re welcome in a civilized way?”

I find it offensive when someone I don’t know inquires anything personal about me, like what I am doing, where I am going and what plans I have made.  I am not after making best friends with strangers behind the counters I am just after completing a simple business transaction.

Mother's Day Gifts

It is always a challenge for families to decide what to give Mother for Mother’s Day. The New York Times Sunday newspaper came to my rescue with a variety of options, featured in their T-Store four-color advertising insert.  Some of the gifts included a “personalized” wooden pie box for 50 dollars, a “personalize” rolling pin and pepper mill for $45, and how about the “personalize” cutting board for 80 bucks?  Also shown were the “personalized” Lazy Susans and NY Times kitchen aprons, 80 dollars for the red and 90 for blue.

Is personalizing cooking tools so that some great thief won’t break into her cupboard to steal her cutting board, rolling pin or pepper mill?

Wouldn’t Mother be delighted with a beautiful piece of jewelry to wear to the next gala event instead of something to add to her chores in the kitchen?

Somehow the ad did not mention a 9-carat emerald-cut amethyst cocktail ring, in sterling silver for $1,100 or a cushion-cut ruby ring with tapered baguette diamond side stones; platinum and 18K yellow gold setting from Harry Winston, which is so expensive that one has to call for the price.

Mom really doesn’t want a breakfast prepared by children who undercook pancakes in the shape of Jimmy Durante’s nose, or hand squeezed orange juice including seeds and pieces of rind and sausage with ice-cold centers and of course leaving a mess for Mom in the kitchen to clean up later.

How about giving Mom something that will make her life easier like a nice dinner out to an adults only restaurant, and a precious bobble like a sterling silver Mom Heart Tag Pendent from Tiffany and Co for $125, which comes wrapped in a turquoise box with a white satin ribbon?  She would adore that in place of all the “personalized” kitchen utensils in the world.