RING RING..
Good
Afternoon Margie’s Gourmet Caesar Croutons, how may I help you?
I
would like to talk to Margie.
Sorry
sir, Margie is just the name of the company we don’t have a person named
Margie. I am a Margie customer
service associate and I can help you.
So
sorry sir that you had that experience. We use the best of ingredients.
You
may use the best of ingredients but they tasted like crap.
We
have had focus groups tested and they were delighted with the Margies’s Gourmet
Caesar Croutons.
Well,
you probably paid your focus groups and they were going to rave about your
product. I was not delighted with
them as a matter of fact after eating one I threw the rest away in the
garbage. I don’t know what special
spices you added to make them gourmet but they tasted like dried horse shit.
If
you were disatisfied with Magie’s Gourmet
Caesar Croutons we would be glad to send you a free coupon for the purchase of
another package.
I
don’t want another package as a matter of fact I don’t even want my money
returned I just wanted you to know that some of us find your product uneatable.
Your
best of ingredients doesn’t do it. What in the world is that very odd taste in
your product?
The
ingredients are listed on the package, sir.
It
just says “and other spices” and I want to know exactly what spices you used.
Our
nutritionists and chefs in our award winning test kitchens select the very best
of ingredients. Of course I cannot
divulge the secret recipe we have to protect our products to keep them from our
competitors.
Believe
me that when your other competitors taste your croutons they will not be dying
to know what special spices you use.
If
you would please send us an address, sir, I will send you a free coupon for the
purchase of another Margies’s Gourmet Caesar Croutons.
I
don’t want your damn coupon. I
wouldn’t feed your croutons to alley cats. I don’t want my money returned. It cost me only $2.49 pus tax to learn never to purchase
something I have never tasted before.
Perhaps
sir, we can send you a free coupon for any of our other superior Margie’s
products.
I
wouldn’t buy one of your products again, don’t you understand?
I am
so sorry sir for your experience and I have noted your review of our Margie’s
Gourmet Caesar Croutons and will send it on to our product quality control.
Just
what is that odd spice you have added or is it the calabrese bread? Is it made from licorice or stable
droppings?
Sorry
sir, we cannot divulge a company secret.
Believe
me, miss, your company secret ain’t worth keeping.
CLICK.
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